l'infidèle

Bonjour Blog, what up?
Oh, you've heard about my affair with Pinterest?
I'm sorry.
But it is Love.
Let's be European about it.

from Ringostone

Share the love.

Now that it is out in the open, lets move forward - more openly and honestly.
Pinterest and I have a special relationship. Its easy and uncomplicated.
But, you and I go way back. Waaaaaaaaaay back.
You were definitely there when I needed you.

So here it is.

A fresh start.

Hello 2013.

Lycra Longing

I'm rather fond of a pun, so I need that last bikini from We Are Handsome - because I know everyone wants to see my bear bum.

It's the name John West rejects, that makes John West the best

Do you ever mix up your metaphors, confuse your colloquialisms or have lyrical lapses?

My flatmate and I have a new visitor to our house. His name is John West.
John West's name must always be uttered in full - "John West".
John West was named after he got to eat the good tuna (it was Sirena actually - so full of unfishy deliciousness that it makes me understand how someone can think that tuna is chicken).

Everytime he drops by, I immediately think of the old Gilette shavers' tagline and add in his name;

"John West, the best a man can get".
This is annoying because I know it is wrong and yet I think it every time I say his name. Grrrr.

Last night I thought I might have overcome this. Our neighbour knocked on our door looking for her lost cat. John West was sitting next to me on the couch and she jumped with joy at finding him.

Except it wasn't him.
It was her.
And her name was Ophelia.

Ophelia! What kind of name is Ophelia? It certainly is no John West, that's for sure.

So I have taken a stand and when visiting our house, Ophelia is John West and the will be no mention of shaving or pussies.

Distracted

Get off my computer screen Keira, I am trying to get work done. Knowing you are swanning about Venice and wanting to steal your dress is not helping me achieve this.

Postity Postity Post Post Post (and a chicken)

Pestered her this morning and the stubborn Kimberlee said she wouldn’t do another post until I had.

Done. Your move.

…Meanwhile, speaking of posts, have you ever seen Savage Chickens, drawn on Post-its? Here is my fave: My life, as summed up by a chicken and a worm.

What up Stinky?

Best Gift Idea Ever. 6 month Soap subscription from Sweet Petula for just under $AUS50. Not just for those who are olfactorily challenged (though what a clever hint), but also for people who like getting parcels in the post.

Want something wrapped for the act of handing over? How about a soap dish? I think the coolest thing to do is use a little cupcake stand.

via i am baker

Bam, birthday covered. Sweet smell of success.

Not Nuts

I know I have often been accused by some of loving trash, but seriously, how gorgeous is this...

Squirrel with Cheeseburger = Happy Pip

I want to be here

Now

Uncougar

My Dearest Cazzie,

It has been eons since I have seen you. I think of you often.

I came across this today and it reminds me of you.

I think you need a Silver Fox clutch.

Perhaps you can put these Salt and Pepper shakers in it too. You love the Salt and Pepper (although I think the one on the left is up to something kinky, you can definitely tell the one on the right is wishing he was situated a little further away...).

Miss you

Love Pip

Crepe Day

Today is a need to laugh day.

Today needs the bunny with a pancake on its head.

Because

It is a bunny.

With a PANCAKE.

On its head.

ON ITS HEAD.

And its a pancake.

A pancake!

Possibly a pikelet.

On a bunny.

Dear Oolong (as that is apparently your name),

I found this print that explains how I feel about you.

That is all
Love
Pip

Stick Figuring it Out

I think addiction may be too strong a word, yet I am not sure how else to describe the attachment I feel to the new Cyanide and Happiness app on my phone. It is my reward at work when I finish a task. It takes all my self control to stifle the guffaws at my desk.

I am getting a touch concerned though.
Something about these little strips is ringing a bell...

Starting with the aforementioned phone love...

Moving on to the fact that I have a bit of a potty mouth and tend to always say the wrong thing...

and I constantly feel like I am messing up at work...

culminating in the way I overcome that feeling...

Ding Dong.

The New Fluffy Duck

So....
When I first saw this I thought it was a picture of a duck farting.

Apparently it is a peacock.

I have, in my time, seen a duck fart turn into a peacock.

Here is how the transformation began.

Drinker sat at a bar with a shot glass layered with Kahlua, then Baileys, then Canadian Club. This was quickly consumed then followed by several more, then several more. At this point, said drinker not only felt better looking, but assumed everyone round them was much prettier too.

Where once sat ducks, now sat Peacocks.

One can only assume that there would have been quite a few duck farts consumed before the marriage of Jordan and Peter Andre and also when deciding this outfit was the way to go.

Peacockalicious

Happy Campers

I've just moved and am in the process of procuring a new bed.

In the meantime, a la student days, I have a mattress on the floor.

I like to think I'm eschewing the western way and taking on the Eastern aesthetic in my sleeping choice, but calling it my futon always brings to mind the bed/couch owned at one stage by the lovely KB; the "futon to root on", as coined by her delightful flatmate, so I am happy calling it my mattress.

The room itself seems confused by the inclusion of the mattress alone and, with its high, shuttered window, is lending itself to comparisons with a detention centre. As my new place of rest, I think it deserves a more charming association.


Soooo, in the meantime, I am toying with the idea of a tent.

I was thinking along the lines of the one in "The Holiday" (as above). Without all the dolls of course. That would just be creepy. I kinda like the idea of it closing you off to the world when you sleep.

But, the truth is, I don't camp in whatever form, unless its 3am at the Mars Bar dancing to Kylie, so the floor mattress is about as close to roughing it as I go.

I will instead bow to the wisdom that is apartment therapy and just try to work it as is, like below, clean and uncluttered, with big pillows and good bedding (I have an awesome new quilt so that should help).

PS. If, because of Saturday afternoon drinks, the tent does go ahead, I will make sure I am always packing scroggin.

Hee hee. Scroggin.

I NEED to do some washing

I was getting ready for work the other day and, due to some clothing issues I have been having lately, realised I didn’t have a single skirt or clean pair of trousers to wear. So, I headed to the only shop I knew that would be open at 8am and still give me enough time to not be late for work. Safe in the knowledge that the store would be relatively unoccupied, I proceeded to enter said store to nab me a pencil skirt, feeling quite a bit risqué in my shirt, stockings and a pair of boots.

All I can say is I am soooooo embarassed.

Not because I was half naked in a public place, because honestly, who hasn't been there, but because I was totally being a copy cat dirty rat.

That very night I went to see the new Sex and the City Movie and who should be looking down at me (in every way) from the silver screen, but the fabulous Liza Minelli herself and her two mini me back up dancers in my “pray that no-one sees me outfit”.

Fashion lessons from gay icons. Methinks my life is only going to be fabulousness from now on.

High Phone

My friends and I often preface hypotheticals with "What's the etiquette...", the positive response being "high" and a negative reply being "low", so I would like to pose the question today;
What's the etiquette in purchasing a cover for an iphone I do not yet own?

$20 from CbSew

I think you know the answer

pic from here

I am a Superhero

You know that an ad is pretty special when you shush everyone each time it comes on.

I know that this is an ad for a feminine hygiene product, so it should be an icky subject, but honestly, I have never seen anything so funny.



PS. Is it wrong that I have actually done this myself before....

Diva Down on the Farm

I am about to confess to three loves. One of which is secret and I will deny if asked about in public.

The first is not a secret and is shared by many.
Beyonce's Single Ladies is such a fun song and the version with the baby dancing in front of the TV - comic gold.

The second is also not a secret to those who know me:
Country boys. No explanation necessary.

The third is not something that I ever want my boyfriend to find out about. He would never let me live it down. (He knows about the aforementioned love - he is one).
Truth is, I love John Williamson. Always have. My childhood best friend and I used to put on backyard concerts, singing his songs in our off key, 6 year old harmonies. We rather enjoyed "Rip, Rip Woodchip" which pandered to our environmental sensibilities, but our personal (and of course, the crowd) favourite would have been "True Blue" with its reference to smoko. I love that term. My grandma, Sal, has always called morning tea; smoko.

Anyhoo

You can imagine my utter delight when I saw all three combined this Saturday morning.




Cameos don't get much better than that (and they're all in Bonds wife beaters to boot)

They also played "Take it from me", by Girlfriend, not long after that little gem. Gerbera fronted pork pie hats, sunflowers placed chestacularly on a black vest and rose dotted ruffle shirts - bloomin' fantastic.

God bless you Rage.

Do I Need It?

The answer is...

Fare thee well my last $40

from lii luu via Shop til You Drop

You Can Bake Me One of These in a Dutch Oven

This necklace is called Mermaid Farts.

Had to share.

Be-Tray Me

How gorgeous are these arrangements from this real wedding on Snippet and Ink? I am going to steal the idea.

So simple. The tray is a clever idea. It makes me want to position them as extra arrangements on side tables or random pillars (everyone has random pillars floating around their place don't they) and have a main table with a long row of the different shaped green bottles and lilies, moss and tealights.

I actually wanted this to be a nice post, but couldn't resist... I'm getting flash backs to working in the pub and doing a bit of glassy work, although in that case the tray would have the empty bottles, the curly moss/grass would be used serviettes and the calla lilies would most likely be spent cigarettes and their odourous plumes of smoke.

Mmmm, appetising.

Very Hungry Me

Speaking of cake, have you seen this gorgeous Very Hungry Caterpillar Cupcake cake?

Coco Cake Cupcakes are soooo clever

How much fun could you have throwing a Very Hungry Caterpillar party for little kidlets? You could use all the foods in the book by making fruit salads, salami pizza and even mini hotdogs for the sausage. You could have a caterpillar pinata and you could pin leaves on a tree instead of pin the tail on the donkey. At the end, all the kids could get butterfly wings.

I might have to do it for an adult friend instead. Then we could have

2 Pear Mojitos

3 shots of Plum Brandy

4 Strawberry Daiquiris

5 Freshly squeezed Mimosas

and finish with

Watermelon Martinis

pic via Spice and Life

Gimme Some Sugar

So the cake I made a while back was delicious, but I need to learn to follow instructions as the icing I made did not work. I made it like a syrup instead of a glaze.

If only I could glaze like Heather Locklear's eyes

It would have been so good if it had worked. That's the good thing about having brothers though, they ate it all up without a word of complaint.

nom nom nom, cake

PS. My bros are going to love that the picture I have chosen to represent them has them as two chicks licking a giant cupcake. Actually, the more I think of their sick little brains, they are going to love that.

Taking the Cake

I've had a VERY full last few weeks ( I just did a typo when I was writing that and it said "eeks" which I thought was quite apt).

I'd planned to get organised today, sorting out my photos and finds from my AWESOME trip to the Big Apple, but suprisingly, I didn't get round to it. I got myself a bit distracted and this was one of the reasons...

A quick check on Tastespotting brought me to Dreamy Dish and what sounds like an amazing recipe for a Lemon Cornmeal Cake. So, now at 12:15 am, I am waiting for it to come out of the oven so I can glaze it and take it to dinner at my folks tomorrw. I'll let you know how it goes...

Blubber

How auspicious is this...

I started this little whimsy of a blog one year ago yesterday, with a post on my new Moby Dick print.

On this very anniversary day, a white whale calf was spotted just off the coast at Head of Bight. I think he's a little good luck charm, an encouragement to keep on blogging.



I'll have to get one of these from Thalassa Jewellery to make sure I stick with it



And while I'm on whales, how cute is this tweedy little fellow from the Cats Miaow

PS. I originally titled this post Cetacean Surprise, but it sounded like a really dodgy cocktail.

Ingredients:
1 part sperm oil
2 parts rum
Dash of lime
Serve over ice, in a tall glass and garnish with a frozen penguin, baleen stirrer and a twist of kelp

My Life is a Pointer Sisters' Song...

I'm so...and I just can't hide it...

In one week I will be getting on a plane and flying to New York for 10 days. I have not been on a holiday for soooo long and its been about a decade since I travelled overseas. I cannot wait. I've barely made an itinery as I like the idea of just wandering and taking everything in, but i'm going to spend every night this week scouring the net looking at things I can do. If anyone has any suggestions please, please, please let me know.

via here, here, here